How to Dress a Fatty V.2.0

As some of you know, my sister is getting married this weekend. When given the chance or opportunity, I like to dress it up a bit, take it up a notch, if you will. I went out and spent nearly $300 on clothes/undergarments (spanx)/shoes/accesories for my outfit. I bought 2 dresses and let my mom pick which she thought was better suited for the occasion.

 

Surprise, surprise, she didn’t like either. One was too tight and my legs were “way too pasty white” for the other. We compromised and I decided to wear some black Spanx hose. (P.S. I love you Spanx. You make my world go `round.)

 

I had originally bought some cute black patent pumps to wear but, now with the hose, I am thinking it would be much much cuter to wear some black suede knee high slouchy boots. Off I went today during my lunch break to scout the perfect pair of boots. I went to DSW, Payless and Kohls.

 

The designers of America and China and wherever else cute black suede knee high slouchy boots come from have foiled my plan. Damn you designers! Don’t you know that not all ladies have pencil calves? DONT YOU!?!?!

 

I am actually depressed. I don’t know if it’s the damned bad luck fat calves or it’s the weather but, it’s really been a shitty day. I can’t wait for the sun to shine again. On a positive note, I still have 30 weekly points left and 2 days to use them, I discovered I can eat Fritos and Queso for minimal points, and my wedding dress ALMOST fits.

 

I guess I am back to square one with the outfit. I really want some fuckin’ boots.

 

Any suggestions on stores that sell fat calf boots?

~ by Kendall on November 11, 2008.