•January 25, 2011 • 1 Comment

Growing up, our meals were fairly simple. We could generally count on, a meat, a starch and a vegetable. Starch being a baked potato, mashed potatoes or steamed rice with butter and soy sauce. Vegetable would be a salad, corn, lima beans or broccoli. That’s it.

 As I’ve become a wife and a mother the meals I make for my family are modeled after the same principal. Can we say, BORING?

Since we didn’t grow up with much variety (for many reasons) I never experienced quite a few foods. these days, I find it difficult to find foods that are both healthy and that I enjoy.

A short list of things I just cannot bring myself to eat.

– Onions, unless fried or cleverly disguised in cheese.

– Peppers, of any variety. Bell, red, yellow, orange.

– Jalapenos (will never ever eat a jalapeno, cannot even smell them without gagging. Once mistook a pickle for a jalapeno. Much screaming and crying ensued. I was 6. It was traumatic.)

– Hot tomatoes. Spaghetti, pizza sauce, on a hamburger or hot sandwich. Gag.

– Hot fruit. Cobblers, pies, fruit on oatmeal.

– Beans. I will eat them, I just don’t love them. Refried is out.of.the.question.

– Cooked carrots. Unless they are in beef and broccoli.

– Mustard.

– Oysters, for obvious slimey reasons.

– White meat chicken & turkey. I will eat it but I much prefer dark meat.

– Celery. It’s the texture AND taste.

– Bananas. They make me gag.

So you see? I have many challenges. In other news, I have a very sick baby and a very sick self. At one point this morning there were several piles of pink amoxicillin puke on the couch/floor/me and him. He has bronchitis and an ear infection. The coughing leads to gagging, the gagging leads to barfing and the barfing is almost always after I try to give him his medicine. Fuck you very much, daycare.

I’m apologizing if this post doesn’t make sense or is mis-spelled. I started writing it last week sometime. I’m not spell checkin’.


To you: Mr. Sunshine.

•January 20, 2011 • 2 Comments

Today you are eight month’s old. I have never written any of your progress or milestone’s here and I fear I will forget, what with my already terrible memory. 

You started daycare this week and blew them out of the water. Way to prove me wrong buddy! I don’t know why I thought you would do anything but spectacular, you are after all, my child. One of your teachers, Miss Leticia told me she has never seen a baby so happy on their first day of daycare. It was probably just smoke being blown up my ass but, I’ll take it. You are spectacular, my child. That grin of yours is never-ending from the moment I drop you off until the time I pick you up.

The feeling in my stomach tells me you inherited your Daddy’s entertainer gene. Already at eight months, you feel it your duty to charm the masses. If a good beat comes on the TV or a good song comes on the iPod, you pump up the jams, man. Pretty soon, you’ll be in some club somewhere cruisin’ the laydeez and fist pumping with your buds. You’ve got the rhythm my friend. I can assure you that you are taking your own sweet ass time with the whole mobility thing. Crawling? That shit is for amatuers. You’d much rather be toted around. To the frustration of your Daddy, I am more than happy to oblige you.

You are wearing clothes ranging from 18 months – 2T. Monster baby. Just so you know, people can only hold you for a maximum of 5 minutes before their arms fall off. True story. Your Daddy and I have gotten pretty good at it though. At your last doctor’s appointment over a month ago, you weighed 24 pounds so yeah, probably 26 now. You were sleeping like a champ up until just a few nights ago. What the hell brah? Last night you did not sleep, at all. You screamed like a lunatic for hours, burped and passed out. It was awesomesauce. Me? I’ve had four, FOUR! cups of coffee today.

I am still diligently making you “home food” as they call it at school. At this point, there is pretty much nothing you don’t like. In the last week you’ve really started taking interest in our food. So far you’ve tried ground turkey, broccoli and jello. If you grow up and don’t know what to do in a kitchen, I have failed you. You sit in your high-chair for HOURS while I’m cooking/cleaning. Tell your future wife I said, you are welcome!

I have seen so many developments in you these past few days, pulling up and standing while only holding on to my fingers, desperatly trying to get puffs from your hand to your mouth, dragging your back half around (before getting exhausted and just laying there.) The other night you almost took a header off the couch trying to grab the remote (which by the way? YOUR FAVE!)

Grandma Nani is pretty much your favorite person, ever. You are enthralled with the way she talks, either that or you are just trying to figure out what the hell she is saying. It’s okay buddy, we can’t figure it out either. You resemble her so much, I see her in you everytime I look at you.

Three days in and I already had a report from your school that you had a girlfriend. Sammi is her name. I kind of wish you would hold off on the girlfriends until I can take a concealed handgun course but, if push comes to shove. A baseball bat wielding mother is just as effective.




Mardi Gras beads really do the trick if you are in a bad mood. (That doesn’t bode well for the kind of things you’ll be into when you are older, if you know what I mean. No you are not ever allowed to go to New Orleans.)

Last night as you were screaming wildly in my ear, I tried to remember the time before you. I couldn’t. Life was not life before you. I love you very much Boog.

My wish for you is to reach the moon and stars and to be happy on the journey.

I am having the time of my life watching you grow.

The lucky ones.

•January 17, 2011 • 2 Comments

Friday was one of the saddest days I can ever recall. I am still mad that I let myself dwell on it and not just accept and move on. I knew the day was coming, I had over 2 weeks to prepare for it. Every soul I know has heard me whine and cry about it but still, the day came, and so did the tears.

Friday was Landon’s last day with our beloved Edgy. When I was contemplating returning to work I was sick over the fact of having to put L in daycare and an opportunity presented itself. Get ready to follow this chain; my best friend’s (Brittany) Mom’s (Miss Lesa) best friend (Miss Sue) happens to be one of the lucky ones. She has a live-in nanny for her 6 year old daughter. Given the fact that Ava was in school the majority of the day, Edgy was looking for some side work. It all just happened to work out for us, their (ginormous) house was on my way to work, it gave Edgy something to do during the day and she got a little side money. Landon loved her and I trusted her completely. She took him for long walks and taught him to wave bye -bye, gave him a bath every day before I picked him up and spoke Portugese to him. Right before the New Year, we learned Susan was getting married (surprise!) they had bought a house and were moving, taking Edgy with them. I had 2 weeks to find alternate child care.

My heart felt like it was being torn into a million pieces. Why couldn’t I be one of the lucky ones, that had the gift of being able to stay home with my baby? Why was Susan making such a quick decision? Why don’t I have a damn extra bedroom so Edgy could live with us? Why, why, why?!

I felt (and still do) like I want to lay on the ground like a child, kicking and screaming and have something go MY way, just this once. People, the tears, they were constant for almost four days. Mostly, they were for selfish reasons, because Edgy was so easy for ME. Convenient for me to drop him off, to pick him up, I didn’t have to deal with the illness often associated with daycare and he had 100% attention all day.

A daycare was found, on the recommendation of a few friends, a Montessori school close to my work. Deposit and tuition has been paid, to the tune of, omfg I’m going to be eating Vienna sausages for lunch until he starts kindergarten.

Friday came and I wept and wept and wept. I’m going to spare the details, my co-workers have seen me cry more than a few times in the past week. The house where Landon spent his first few months is now empty and soon a new family will fill it’s rooms (secretly I’m hoping there is a REASON it’s not been put on the market.)

Landon has begun his new journey, in a new place, without incident. No tears, no tantrums. I left him with a kiss, gently shutting the door behind me, I didn’t even look back through the small window in the door.

Plans have been arranged for a sleepover with Edgy in February.

To all of you, the lucky ones, be thankful everyday. My biggest wish is to be one of you.

A day late.

•January 10, 2011 • 1 Comment

Well, 10 days late. 2010, in review!


1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Had a baby and all that THAT entails … which includes many many things I had never done before.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I believe my resolution last year was to pay off my debt. While I am not 100% out of debt, I am on the road to BEING out of debt. 2011 resolution: lose (at least) 10% of my current body weight.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Guess it doesn’t get any “closer” than myself!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank God. I sent quite a few sprays on behalf of the company I work for though.

5. What countries did you visit? 

Your mom’s house. No? Not a country? Fail.  

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010?

Feel great about myself. Do something wonderful for, ME! I spend a whole lot of time pleasing everyone else.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

May 20, 2010. My baby boy was born. He lights up my life, every day, no questions asked.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Becoming a mom (this post is annoying already, I know) and making it (mostly) successfully through the first 7 months.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I failed, epic-ly at breastfeeding. I failed at making Mark feel important (enough) and I failed at taking care of myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not really (knocking on wood, with both fists – people are looking) except if you can count my c-section incision bursting. Mmm. I hope you are all eating lunch.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Mmmm. Thinking. Thinking. Hmmm? Coming up with … nothing.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Mark, my family and my best friend, Brittany. Mark – for being INCREDIBLY patient with me this year. I tend towards whiney bitch and he has an incredible knack for just walking away when I need him to do just that. My family – for being very supportive. Brittany – for making the effort to be a part of our lives, post baby. I wish I could say the same for all of my other “best friends.”

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I could name them but, that would make me no better than them. My efforts are better when not wasted on lifescum. I sleep soundly at night knowing Karma, is a very big bitch.

14. Where did most your money go?

Credit cards. Formula (!). Child care (!!!). Groceries.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

All of the little things Landon does really (annoyingly – to everyone else) excites me! The good news for my friends and family, baby announcements, wedding announcements, new jobs, etc. Mark and I will be attending a number of showers this year. Bed Bath & Beyond will be seeing me quite often.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

“Heartbreak Warfare” – John Mayer for no other reason than, I listened to the CD about 900,000 bazillion times. No joke.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happer, Fatter (fat vs. baby), Richer, umm … less debt?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Reading, exercising, eating right, taking prenatal classes.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying, eating junk, focusing on negative.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At my parent’s house (as always) worrying about my Grandmother and her inability to eat or even move from the couch.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Absolutely. Life isn’t worth living (or you aren’t doing something right)  if you can’t fall in love with something or someone all over again.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Let’s face it, we don’t have all day. Our DVR gets a workout.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don’t hate anyone. Hate makes people do awful things.

24. What was the best book you read?

My favorite books are dirty sleezy romance novels so, let’s move on.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

John Mayer’s Battle Studies. Eeek. 

26. What did you want and get?

A healthy baby. Couldn’t ask for much more than that.

27. What did you want and not get?

Duh. A million dollars.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?

Sex & The City 2. It could have been worse than Battlefield Earth and I still would have loved it. SJP = ❤

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Gigantically pregnant (36 weeks) waddled myself into a Japanese steakhouse with some wonderful friends and had a delicious and expensive steak dinner. I turned 25.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Financial freedom. OHMYGAH. I want-it-so-bad.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010?

“Pregnant and dealing.”

32. What kept you sane?

Sadly, food. And, foot rubs.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Intolerance. It starts wars people, get over yourselves.

34. Who did you miss?

My friends who think pregnant people are lame.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Err … I don’t know that I even met anyone who made an impact this year. Taking that back as I re-read. Landon’s nanny Edgy. Even though this is his last week with her (boo!) we love her so so so so so much.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Nothing and I mean nothing, will ever go as planned.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“You are my sunshine my (not) only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey.”

Official weigh in: Week Dos

•January 10, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Down 6.4 pounds from last Monday morning. Yesterday I had a bit of a slippery slide into a mug (or three) of hot chocolate, peppermint schnapps and whipped cream. Picking myself back up today.


•January 6, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Here we are, on Day 4 of The Biggest Blogging Loser competition and my stomach is currently growling out a greeting to you all! Rawrrrhelloworldrawwrrrfeedmerawwwr. I have to tell you, I am not at all accustomed to being hungry. In the past I have always eaten just to eat, not because I was hungry. My stomach was always filled before it had a chance to know what hunger felt like. I can assure you,  my stomach (let’s call her Bertha) is not at all pleased.

Up until this morning I had resisted the urge to step on the scale knowing if I weigh everyday, I am setting myself up for disappointment. Today isn’t the day to share results, good or bad but, I was impressed by the number. All I’ve got to say is, suck balls ladies, I am going to take your money! (That was intended for the other BBL participants – but you know, suck balls if you wish.)

Sooner or later I will incorporate some exercise into the routine but finding time  has been challenging. LA Fitness is taking 8 of my dollars every week so I’d better drag Bertha over there and get this show on the road. My only free time slot during the day is at lunch and pshhhhyaright,  how would I blog to all of my imaginary friends? (I dare you to write a blog on an iPhone while on the elliptical, I’ve tried. It sucks.)

Walks with Landon after work are ruled out. Basically, I prefer to stay in my house, behind locked doors after the sun sets in our neighborhood. Also, cold. Call me a pansy, but I don’t deal well with below 60 degrees. This doesn’t bode well for me since meteorologists are predicting “winter weather” next week. This is Texas, we are supposed to be wearing our Tommy Bahama shirts, lounging poolside all year.

Tonight is going to be my first real endurance test. Mexican food, with my best hookers. Best hookers + no kid = me + beer.

No beer. No beer. No beer.

We’ll see. I’ll leave you today with a video I’ve shown to just about everyone I know. Forgive, he’s cute. Plus, if you’re having a shit day, it might make you laugh.

Well, hello world!

•January 4, 2011 • Leave a Comment

How ya’ been? How’s things? Whad’ya know?

I thought it might be time to bring the ol’ girl out of retirement rather than just create a whole new blog because the point hasn’t changed. SURPRISE! I am dieting again! What? You thought I’d say I’m pregnant. You can just shut your mouth right now, lady.

So, last time I was here, I was pregnant and ready not to be.

This time, I have an almost 8 month old. Who by the way, is bone crushingly adorable, if I do say so myself.

He is cute right? His name is Landon Gabriel born on May 20th 2010 a few minutes shy of 5:00 PM via cesearean section. Staying true to fashion, he brought the dramz with the delivery and pretty much every single second since. He doesn’t laugh much but when he does, it’s like the last time he will ever laugh again. Just as suddenly as he starts, he’s done. Apparently he has inherited his mama’s “big bones” weighing in at a not easy to tote, 25 pounds. At least, that was at his last doctor’s appointments. For the most part, he sleeps through the night and wakes up to cuddle with me at 6:30 every morning. Must break that habit, soon. Very soon.

In other news, Mark quit the band to spend more time with the family. YAY! His last show was September 11th. Shit day to begin with but ended bittersweet for me. Sad to see him give up something he loved so much but happy to have him home. We are now trying to adjust to him being home all the time. In all of our years, Mark had always been in the band so it is quite the adjustment, for me at least. After more than a year, we are back on the road financially and I am hoping to be debt free within a few months.

I rang in the New Year shoving my face with any and all forms and fashions of fattening food, knowing my days were limited. Monday January 3 saw me starting a new diet, Weight Watchers via a Biggest Blogging Loser competition I’ve entered into. Basically, a bunch of blog friends of Jennie have entered themselves into a blogging/dieting/lose weight competition. There is money involved so yes, I am participating. The actual jackpot is yet to be determined but the winner is based upon percentage of body weight lost. Weigh-in days are on Monday – take a picture of the scale and send it in.

Just wanted to say hello to you all and let you know I’ll be back around for a few more months, at least.