The Great Plague

First of all, let me tell you all to put on your gas masks and fumigate your ambient air with many bottles of Lysol.  I am convinced that this PLAGUE I’ve been fighting is certainly powerful enough to infect all of the interwebs. Proceed with caution. The past two weeks has been a frenzy of Theraflu, Kleenex coated with lotion & vicks (ah!) and cough drops, many many cough drops.

Two Fridays ago, I picked Landon up from daycare and noticed he was a little wheezy and a little nose drippy. Saturday and Sunday he slept until ten! o’clock! I should have known that the mid-night wakings during the week were a precursor to aforementioned, PLAGUE! Sunday he woke with a nasty cough, stuffy and sneezy. When it became obvious that he wasn’t in fact, going to magically get better, I made the call to EL JEFE (the boss, for all of you non Spanish speakers) and let her know I wouldn’t be in. 

Oh. Did I mention the several cases of RSV and walking pneumonia in his school?  Monday morning we saw the pediatrician and Landon was given the diagnosis, bronchitis and ear infection. Is it wrong to be thankful that is ALL it was? He was prescribed amoxicillin, albuterol and a cough medicine. We walked out the doors ushered by the words, “it’ll probably get worse before it gets better. Have a nice day!” Well, thanks for speaking that one into existence, shithead. Landon did in fact, get much worse before he got better.

We stayed home again on Tuesday. Let me be the first to assure you that taking care of a sick baby while you yourself are sick, is a torture worse than water boarding. Also, just for future reference, pink amoxicillin puke piles stain. Badly. It was the first time I can honestly say, I’ve panicked as a mother. I was this close to packing him into the car and heading to the ER. Thankfully, I was talked down and reassured that all was fine when he smiled at me with a little pink puke on his chin. Like, ha! mom! I’m fine. Seriously, no more of that pink shit. Is gross.

He is totally fine now.

Me? Not so much. Am still dying of THE PLAGUE. My boogers are like Elmer’s rubber cement, my sinuses are pounding and I have to blow my nose every 3 seconds to keep from choking on snot. I am a sexy beast. 

Thus, the diet suffered tragically last week. I didn’t track my points at all. I’m fairly certain that the 3 bags of cough drops I ate took me WAY over the legal limit. I gained about half a pound which was not at all surprising.

I still feel like death but I have started exercising. Blah. Hoping for a good week, eating wise.

In other, totally unrelated news, the Northerns are currently descending on our lovely sub tropical State. So let me just say, Welcome to The Great State of  (no, we do not ride horses to work) Texas! I hope you enjoy your short break from the usual Winter weather of your frozen tundra. Oh, ha, HA! We fooled you didn’t we? My bets are that you were basking in the warmth of our lovely weather in your cargo shorts in t-shirts, right about the time all Hell broke loose and the temperature dropped thirty something degrees. Enjoy your stay, I hope you brought your mittens and your car insurance policy! You know we Texans don’t know how to drive in this bullshit!



~ by Kendall on February 1, 2011.

2 Responses to “The Great Plague”

  1. Gah…you poor thing. That sounds absolutely miserable, and the fact that you were even thinking about your diet in any way, shape, or form makes you my official hero.

    Hope you feel better soon!

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