Bad ass babies, killer whales and a beast named Bowen.


Meet mah baybee. The badass.

That’s right folks, Landon has taken after his mother. It’s pretty unmistakeable that he is flippin’ the ol’ bird. Obviously, an innocent gesture since you know? Is baby. I do like to think that he was trying to tell the ultrasound tech to back the fuck off.

I took the liberty of printing this scan, blowing it up and tacking it to my cubicle with the caption “STFU.”

I can just see my little dude now, in the hospital nursery with his baby leather jacket and his pack of ciggies rolled in his shirt sleeve; all the little girl baaaaybees vying for his attention.

Annyyyyway. Since Landon was all moody and no pictures please, we go back in three weeks for another 4D because, I didn’t pay $100 to see a middle finger. Nope. Also, have to go back for another glucose tolerance test and a RhoGham booster since I received mine so early. Don’t ask me to esssplain the finite details of blood types and attacking babies and such. It’s beyond my limited intelligence level.

Moving on. I’ve been trying to find words to tell you all how fuckin’ dumb people are; without sounding insensitive about the death of a human. Of course, it’s tragic that somebody died, but I also wonder why anyone is surprised. The death of the SeaWorld trainer has been the biggest story on the news behind the Olympics. People are shocked! and surprised! that a killer whale would kill someone.  

Wouldn’t one think that with the name “killer whale” that it was bound to happen sooner or later?

Hey, let us jump in a tank of water with a 12,000+ pound killer whale who has been “involved” in the deaths of two other people. Okay! Let me just get my flippers and snorkel!”

Now, there is speculation on whether Tilikum should be freed or euthanized. How do you even euthanize a 12 thousand pound animal? Why would it be killed for doing something it does naturally in the wild?

 I wonder how those fucks at SeaWorld would feel if somebody stuck their ass in a bathtub and told them to do tricks for food (it’s the best size comparison I could come up with.) Certainly, I’d be a little cranky mahself if I was stuck in a bathtub for the rest of my days. I understand many of the whales in captivity are there for a reason and blah blah blah but dudes, this particular whale was captured for the sake of capture and hey! a whale! can do tricks!!

My point? Do I ever really have a point? When Entertainment Tonight is covering this shit four days in a row, it starts entering the realm of Michael Jackson coverage and I just don’t think my brain can cope.

Speaking of animals, last night (Mark had to play)  Bowen was actually behaving and not making me want to strangle. I snapped this photo while he was standing guard over me after something happened outside (I don’t look anymore, shady shit happens too often ’round these parts.)  

Please disregard the uber-gay bandana he is sporting. Groomer finds it cute and I am laaayzee! Also don’t be fooled; he may look cute but he is a royal painus in my assimus. He is either a.) too smart or b.) too stupid for his own good.

I’m honestly a little surprised he is still living. Dumb dumb  has eaten more than a few things that  might have taken a lesser dog to it’s demise. On the short list, 24 blue and green frosted cupcakes (don’t ask), a whole pan of brownies, the satin trim from a queen sized blanket, a pan of 5 day old chicken and countless other equally disgusting things.

Happy Friday everyone, be nice and watch out for killer whales.

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~ by Kendall on February 27, 2010.

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