27 weeks and some change.


In case you all live under a rock, it’s snowing. In late February. In South Texas. What the fuck Mother Nature? When you get off the proverbial rag, would you mind letting us all enjoy my normally, most favorite part of the year. You know, the part in which it’s not nut freezing cold or pig sweat hot?

Yesterday I wore capris and short sleeves and today I’m rifling through Mark’s long sleeves to find something semi warm to wear. I have 4 long-sleeved maternity shirts and they are all buried under 800 pairs of jeans (my husband wears a lot of clothes.)

Wouldn’t it just be my good luck that three and half seconds after I cut an entire fucking foot of hair off, leaving my neck all exposed and breezy, Texas gets blasted with snow. See picture to the left. Shorthair! Again! Now each morning I am forced to wet, dry and straighten or risk coming to work looking a bit like Gary Busey. No thanks. While your Tweets are pee myself funny, your hair is a bit much for me. Speaking of my haircut, it took about 3 hours longer than it should have. My hair is so thick that my hairdresser had to razor that bitch (my ponytail) off. I still haven’t sent it in to Locks of Love because, i.iz.lazy. And also? Considering selling it on the black market to bald men. I kid.

Things that went down this week:

Almost peed on myself an embarrassing number of times because evidently Lando thinks it’s HYSTERICAL to hacky sack the shit out of my bladder. Contemplated taking my underwear off at a wedding because my ass has stretched out the elastic and they kept falling down around my knees under my dress (I wish I was kidding.) Thought of the best way to kill an old person and dispose of the body. More than once. Found this blog. Laughed until I peed a little. After our beast dragged a FULL pan off brownies of the counter (and shattered the Pyrex dish), I actually tried picking out the glass shards that sprinkled the top. So I could eat them. All. Wondered if I was an asshole for wishing I was done with pregnancy. Loved my husband more than ever for helping me clean the kitchen. It’s the little things. Watched with gusto, people crashing and falling down a mountain, and laughing because I suck. Tried to figure out why the fuck ICE DANCING is a prime time Olympic event. As in, NBC WHY THE FUCK are you not showing people fall down a mountain instead?  Also, wondered why the fuck Russia produces such dickwads. Yea, I’m talking about you fruity ice skater! In the interest piece before he skated, the commentator qualified him as the Russian bad boy. Bad boy and ice skater should not ever be mentioned in the same sentence. Unless of course, you are Will Ferrell in Blades of Glory. In which case, carry on.

On deck: doctor’s appointment tomorrow, followed by 4D ultrasound.

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~ by Kendall on February 23, 2010.

One Response to “27 weeks and some change.”

  1. Love the cute bump!

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