A birth plan.

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve been ’round these parts! With the recent discovery of my sister’s blog I’ve shy’ed away a bit from posting here, allowing myself to gather my thoughts, vent, bitch, be angry and hurt over the things she has said. Eventually I will get into the details but they are incessantly boring unless you are one with DRAMA.

One of these days when I have some time – I will ask you all your advice on the situation and how you would handle it.

Also, my grandma had a health scare and it was all scary! drama! must.freak.out! (My sister’s don’t handle that kind of thing very well.)

Moving on. Birth plan. Here it is, in black and white.

– Ask the people surrounding me to remove any sharp objects that are within my reach.

– Try really hard not to kill myself or anybody around me.

– Drugs, drugs and more drugs.

– Cry.

– Drink copious amount of alcohol (it doesn’t count right?) (I kid.)

– Cry.

– Scream at anybody besides medical staff who dares to venture lower than my shoulders.

– Punch anyone who talks to me in a cheerleader voice.

– Cry.

– Have baby.

– Refuse to hold baby until any and all visible vagina juice is no longer visible. (Only partly kidding)

– Cry.

– Sleep.


~ by Kendall on February 8, 2010.

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