The day Minnesota called.


Is there anything more infuriating than somebody calling and not responding when you say, hello? Take that feeling, multiply it times once (sometimes twice) a minute for 30+ minutes and you will have the general feeling of how my day has started.

Our office is located in Houston, all of our customers are located in Texas, Louisiana and Oklahoma but yet, we are receiving calls from Minnesota. I am convinced machine gun wielding Haitians have taken over Min-AH-so-TA.

You see, I have an irrational fear of Haitians, and machine guns and especially Haitians WITH machine guns. I blame it on Bad Boys II.

Since hearing the tragic news of the Haitian earthquake and the devastation that (ohmigod) has caused Haitian prisons to crumble, my hiney has been a little more cringey than normal. I would absolutely be donating money to the recovery had my OB/GYN office not bent me (and my poor debit card) over the registar’s counter and showed me who was boss.

Plus, Brad & Angelina are getting in on the action and you know, those two could buy the world. I hope one day they find it necessary to buy a slightly older child, say age range 20-25, on the plump side, 25% Asian, married to a Mexican. Or, MAYBE they could just buy MY BAYBEE (only slightly kidding).

Anyway, Haitians with machine guns. They.iz.scary. If you’ve ever seen Bad Boys 2, you know what I’m talking about. The scene where Will Smith’s character & Martin Lawrence’s character go into the house filled with Haitians and proceed to have a MACHINE GUN BATTLE! Holy check my pants scared.

You.cannot.run.from.a.machine.gun.not.even.if.you.run.really.really.fast.

There is nothing scarier than a Haitian with a machine gun, unless of course I was trapped in a free falling elevator, with a gun wielding Haitian.

Oh and also, Mark got a job (but shhh I’m not ‘posed to tell.) It is pending his drug test and background check but the last time I checked he wasn’t free basing crack or shootin’ the heroine and I don’t THINK he has ever killed anyone (but you know, those menz are sneeky), sooooo we should be good.

I’ve got another ultrasound today to check Lando’s heart and kidneees because last time he was all, “Chip! I’ll come at you like a spider monkey! Chip, I’m all hyped up on Mountain Dew!” and so, the nice ultrasound lady couldn’t get a good look at his inner bits.

I.iz.hyper.

I also hope I don’t get bent over the counter at the gynie office.

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~ by Kendall on January 13, 2010.

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