I’m finding that today is just one of those days. You know the, holy-shit-if-this-day-doesn’t-hurry up-and-be-over-I’m- going-to-actively-start-looking-for-a-shotgun-kinda-days? My eyeballs feel like I’ve been in the Sahara desert for eleventy billion hours and the sand has take up permanent residence on my corneas. I have a substantial list of complaints (about my job) I’d like to voice to anybody willing to waste 10+ minutes of their lives.

First; let me start off by saying I have equal parts of love and loathe for my job. I am a “graphic designer”  (I use the term v.v. loosely) for a playground company here in Houston, that is owned by v.v. old friends of the family (I’m talkin’ 40+ years.) We (and by we I mean, not me) build SplashParks™ (oh yea, we trademarked it bitches) and playgrounds and various other amenities: trashcans, basketball hoops, benches, etc. I am responsible for designing the ad publications for the three or four publications we publish to every year. I am restricted by the following things; I am to only use seven pre-picked pantone colors, I am only to use four pre-determined fonts and must show smiling children but using a different photo in each publication.

It might not sound mind numbingly boring to you but let me be the first to assure you that most days I’d rather be dragging my face against an asphalt parking lot, in the heat of summer. With my design work taking up a whooping one week of my year, I must find other ways to keep myself occupied. Mostly my other job is to sort sale receipts from our foreman; first by person, then by date, then find the job number and write it on the receipt. I make sure no porn or alcohol is being purchased by company credit cards. Total work time: one day a month if I’m trying really hard.

I also get the distinct joy of working with a man named Bob. Bob is three years away from retirement, he is dumb as fuckin’ nails, he wears entirely too much patchouilli (while I find nothing wrong with patchouilli I find myself thinking to myself, take it easy on the pinetree perfume kid) and thinks I was born entirely to service his working needs. Needs of which include but are not limited to, uploading useless fuckin’ pictures of playgrounds from his camera, printing them, waiting for a job number for them, then migrating them to the server to take up valuable space (because you know, rocket science and all.) My other job requirements include keeping tabs on other people in the office, for the sole purpose of, “Bob might need you right now so please let me know where you are at all times.”

There are a few other things I do around here which don’t include surfing the Interwebs for approximately 6.45 hours of my day that I sometimes find enjoyable and allow me to flex my brain.

Also please let it be known that up until a pay period ago I was making $11.50 an hour. I now make a whopping $12.50 after two years of literally, BEGGING for a raise.

Now I know you might all be thinking that I should find another job or offer to do more and let me tell you that I have honestly asked about 700 thousand times over the last two years. Nobody here is willing to give up any ounce of control over what they are doing, no matter how much it could help them. Another sticking point for me is, I have unlimited access to Adobe Creative Suite with no questions asked. I’ve taught myself Adobe Illustrator since starting here and that my friends, is huge. When I get contracted to do design work for outside entities, I do the majority of the work here. If I were an ethical person, I would do the work on my own time but, I’m not ethical. 

Plus number two is that the “bosses” leave for at least four weeks in the summer and various other weeks throughout the year so nobody is watching over my shoulder. We often get free lunch. Nobody cares how many breaks you take.

I guess my point is this, should I stay here and further my self education of design software whilst wanting to stab a dull object in my eye (or quite possibly, someone elses) or should I go look for some other less paid apprentice design job elsewhere.

Two other points to also consider: everybody smokes in the office save me and two other people. I sit in the server room where the A/C is broken and I can imagine Hell would be a welcome break, environmentally speaking (quite honestly I don’t how the server hasn’t crashed.)


~ by Kendall on October 22, 2009.

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