Dear Texas –


Or insurance Companies, or whomever the following may apply.


Your policy for privately owned insurance to cover maternity SUCKS. Why you ask? Probably because THERE ISN’T A PRIVATE POLICY IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF FREAKING TEXAS THAT COVERS MATERNITY.


The entire state. Not one company that will provide it. Really? I mean really? Last time I checked, Texas was a fairly large State with quite a few female residents. Have you ever driven across Texas? I have … you would think there might be one policy hanging around out there.


Exuse my language but that, my friends, is fuckin’ bullshit.


Just so everybody is aware; below are your options as a pregnant woman in Texas when 1.) your company does not provide insurance (for anybody except themselves) and 2.) your husband is a contractor because it is the only work available due to the downsliding economy.

  1. You can apply for Medicaid (but make sure you make less than $1800/month for 1 person) and have Texas tax payers pay for the birth of your child.
  2. Pay for the doctor’s visits/birth/hospital stay/unforseen complications, etc. in cash, up front. Estimated cost of a well birth for a well baby and a 2 day hospital stay $10 – $13k not including the prenatal OB visits.
  3. Have your baby at home, in a wooden box lined with clean towels and blankets. Cut umbilical cord with a shoelace from your wedding Chuck Taylors. (Don a prarie dress, wear your hair in 2 long plaits, homeschool your children and warn them about the evil insurance empire, chose not to vaccinate and ride a wagon to and from the farmer’s market once a week. When the kids are 18, they can decide if they’d like to join this fucked up “civilization” we have become. )
  4. Get a new job, with insurance.


Issues I am currently having with my given choices as a pregnant woman in Texas.

  1. I don’t really want to be on Medicaid. Call it pride but, I can pay for an insurance policy. I would love to pay for an insurance policy but, I am not allowed the right. Also, I make too much. My only option would be to go to part-time hours to not make as much moolah.
  2. Holy fuck ten thousand dollars is ALOT of money. Maybe I’ll sell my car so I can have a baby and not go into debt. Bankruptcy just doesn’t seem so glam and plus, I wouldn’t be able to online shop @ Sephora anymore. I like Sephora too much.  
  3. I am none to keen on the idea of giving birth less a very strong epidural. I am just not that girl. I am a puss & I’m not afraid to admit it. Also, I like my car and the Inter-webs so I think I’ll stick with civilization.
  4. I don’t want to so, suck it.


Things we are currently doing, whether I like them or not:

  1. I am individually applying for Medicaid but shit, that thing is confusing. I did pretty well on my SAT’s & this one has me bamboozled. I guess only the strong survive, right?
  2. Mark is looking into small business owner insurance since he has a DBA and uses it monthly. Advise would be appreciated, if you have any.
  3. I am trying to set up a meeting with a “financial counselor” at our local hospital to discuss our payment options.
  4. Trying to avoid marching to Austin and beating someone’s stupid ugly face in because, what the fuck dude? No insurance policies? You should get your ass kicked for that one.


Have pity for Mark because I have been on meltdown overload the past few days and he is bearing the brunt of Hurricane Preggerson. I am wishing that I could enjoy just being pregnant, making my first OB appointment, perusing baby bedding, etc. After looking for a short time last night, I am not allowing myself to do so again until I have our situation figured out.


Expect a full detailed post tommorrow about, dude seriously – can’t you just please fucking put your socks in the laundry basket. It promises to be a doozey! I was furiously writing it in my head last night as I threw drinking glasses and knives haphazardly into the dishwasher whilst sobbing and silently cursing my sleeping husband. My life is so fun.


Signing off, Fatty McPreggerson. Word to your mother.


~ by Kendall on September 21, 2009.

3 Responses to “Dear Texas –”

  1. If Mark or you can find a job with the state, it may not pay well but it will cost you $300 total to have the baby. That includes check-ups and delivery.

    I’ve met many a person who has gone to work for the state during pregnancy to get the insurance.

    May not be something either one of you wants to do, but it’s an option. And it takes 3 months for the insurance to kick in

  2. I’m sorry Kendall. That’s incredibly stressful.

  3. ugh what a PITA! just FYI, if you do end up paying as you go in cash hospitals will usually cut the costs down tremendously but they don’t expect people to know that, or to ask. jerks.

    i hope it all works out… i know it will but it’s awfully stressful getting to that point

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