Let’s get physical, physical.


Bust out your leotards ladies, it’s time to get Jane Fonda in this bitch.

 

While being a child of the 80’s I never got to fully enjoy the aerobics wardrobe craze of that decade (I was only 5 in 1990.) Most of my readers probably rocked the day-glo leg warmers, opaque tights and the ever present high-cut-camel-toe-inducing leotard. Olivia Newton John WHAT were you thinking dear? So glad you all came to your senses.

 

PS. Who ever thought high top Reeboks in all white were a good look for anybody but Grandma? If any of my readers are still sporting this look please cease and desist immediately, if not sooner. I will glady dispose of the evidence should you need the assitance.

 

I’ve mentioned it before but, I think it’s worth noting again, my vehement hatred towards physical activity began in Elementary School. The Presidential Physical Fitness Test. I’m getting clammy just thinking about it, Thank GOD I am no longer in the public school system. That shit sucked and I dreaded it each.and.every.year.

 

I mean really, what are modern educators trying to prove? What the hell good is a sit & reach going to do anybody? All it proves is some kids are more flexible than others. Those damn wooden boxes haunt my dreams at night. I distinctly remember making sure I wore inappropriate clothing on the days of testing so I wouldn’t have to run from one end of the gym to another picking up erasers (as fast as I could because ahhhhhh shitttttt the President will hate me if I dont) during the “shuttle run. ” What the hell does shuttle run even mean? Anybody?

 

Let’s be honest, I don’t think the President gives two stinkin’ shits about his Physical Fitness Test, I think there are more important things going on the world. You know, like the imminent downfall of our nation and like, nuclear bombs and shit. I hardly think Obama lies awake at night wondering if Bubba in Arkansas did a chin up with fingersfacingout!!!

 

Maybe I hated it so much because every year I would inevitably slip out a little *toot* during crunches. I remember when I was in the 9th grade I crop dusted my partner, Jessica Sorenson and we dissolved into a heap of hysterical “ohmigodIcan’tbelieveyoujustdidthatholyshitIcan’tbreathe” teenage girl laughter on the gymnastics mat and both failed that portion of the testing. My apologies President (fill in the blank) for defacing your top notch program, I just couldn’t help myself.

 

Jessica dear, if you happen to be reading this, I’m so sorry I farted on you. Have you forgiven me?

 

I guess I should get to the point. Yesterday, I wore Spandex (please keep your horrified gasps to an inaudible whisper.) After work I took Bowen and met up with my bfffffffffff Stacie @ Mercer Arboretum and we went for a little hikey hike. I’ve learned over the past year that an effective workout for me involves tight pants. Regular workout pants just slide right the hell off and I spend the majority of whatever I might be doing, hiking them back up. I like to avoid any public indecencies yaknow.  And by public indecencies I obviously mean buttcrack. Nobody needs to see it.

 

For the record, I must stop smoking. That walk/hike/whatever kicked my ass. I was sweating like a (                         ) and was panting like a damn dog. Today I must invest in socks that cover my heels because holy blisters! At least I’m getting moving, that’s all that really counts, right? RIGHT?!?

 

If the rain holds off we will meet again today and try for a little longer path this time. So tell me, what does your workout routine consist of? What do you do if those plans get ruined? Do you have a backup?

 

I will leave you today with some pictures of my nephew’s birthday party over the weekend.

 

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Grandma Nani, Me and the birthday boy Tyler

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Aunt NaNa and TyTy (I love you dissssssssssssssssss much)

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The private viewing window in the party room. Check out homeboy! He is massive.

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Tyler and his BFF & cousin “Ah-hey-ica” aka Angelica (my step daughter)

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They are pretty much inseperable when they are together.

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4 generations of Japs!

(My oldest sister Kristin, Kelli, Tyler (he belongs to Kristin,)Mom, Grandma and Me

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~ by Kendall on August 26, 2009.

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