Pooping dogs and playdoh.


 

This weekend tested my patience in every way possible.

 

My mother in law bought my step daughter a pooping barbie dog for Christmas. Yes folks, a pooping dog. Barbie, being oh-so-politically-correct comes equipped with a  handy dandy magnetic pooper scooper in which to pick up said magnetic poop.

 

Christ.

 

What has this world come to? Approximately 4 and a half seconds upon opening the package, the poop was lost. I powered through the anger boiling inside of me, she is only 4, she loses things, alot.

 

Saturday morning I walked into her room to witness her innocentely eating a lollipop. Problem is, food and drink have been STRICTLY prohibited on areas that are covered in cream colored carpet. There was a particular incident that involved a large cup of grape juice and a particulary and embarrasingly angry me.

 

It still makes my hingey cringe. I’m sorry Baby Jesus.

Me: “Leakerface, where did you get that sucker?”

Her: “Nowhere.” (mind you, she gets in *MAYJAH* trouble when she lies)

Me: “Where did you get the sucker?”

Her: “From my closet.”

 

I walk to the closet to find a bag of 3 YEAR OLD Halloween candy wrappers and a few rogue pieces of uneaten candy.

Me: “Who ate all this candy?”

Her: “Me and Katelyn.”

 

I literally almost lost my shit. I had to take my butt downstairs to avoid an incident which would have resulted in me yelling, alot and her crying, alot.

 

She was sent to the corner and the remainder of the candy was sent to the trash. Don’t think I didn’t think about eating it. If it wasn’t rubbish, I probably would have.

 

Sunday afternoon saw an explosion of neon colored playdoh in which said playdoh was ground into cream colored carpet and left to dry. My bloodpressure is rising as we speak.

 

Unlike many other times where I could cushion my anger with a bag of Doritos I had to just getthefuckoverit. I said to myself quite often, “she is only 4, she is only 4, she is only 4.”

 

Oh and, I smoked alot of cigarettes. Leave me alone, it’s my thing. I’m working on one thing at a time.

 

I had one mayjah slip up this weekend that found me diving headfirst into a bowl of homeade chuy’s creamy Jalapeno dip. It’s heaven in a bowl. Honest. It may possibly be the best thing I’ve ever experienced. I contemplated using it as salad dressing last night but, that would just be gross. Right? Tell me it would be gross.

 

Todays menu is

Breakfast: Weight control cinnamon oatmeal with a splash of 2% milk

Snack: 14 whole grain wheat thins with 2 triangles of Laughing Cow cheese

Lunch: Swiss and Ham melt from Arbys sadly, no curly fries for this heifer.

 

Hope you are all doing well in your weight loss journeys.

Advertisements

~ by Kendall on January 5, 2009.

3 Responses to “Pooping dogs and playdoh.”

  1. I have to take a lot of deep breaths around the kids! You are right about the Chuy’s dip….oh, so good!

  2. You did way better than I would have with her. I don’t think I am mommy material.

    In regards to WW, you can do it 🙂 You know you have a large support group doing this with you and backing you up!

  3. Ugh. My mother bought the girl the same barbie for christmas. She didn’t notice what it did until she had already gotten in home.

    There is a STRICT “no play-doh” rule in my house. It’s not even allowed through the front door. That crap is the devil.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: