Hi. I’m fat.

 

I am done being the fat girl everywhere I go.

 

How did I become a 23 year old 230 pound female? I am bigger than most guys I know and, that my friends, is a sad sad realization. I can’t recall one particular moment when I realized what a fatass I really am. Everybody says, “I saw a picture of myself and was sick.” Not me. I just know that it’s been a 5 year progression to get to this point.

 

I would like to say that I want to lose weight to be healthy and fit. Wrong. I’d like my tub of lard ass to fit into my wedding dress that, at this current moment, does not zip up. I tried on a size 20 of this particular dress back in April, it fit like a glove. I custom ordered it right before I had my tonsils removed. It came in 3 months later, I went to try it on and it no longer fit. Great. Let me explain this to my overbearing weight conscious perfect size 6 mother, whom, I might add, just paid 1200 U.S. dollars for this dress.

 

So now, it is October, my sister’s wedding is November 15th and, I don’t fit into my bridesmaids dress either. This is what I’ve needed. A swift kick in the ass. (Just so you know, I will not monitor my cussing. It helps deal with the pain.)

 

It has come to this. Eat to live, not live to eat. The only problem, I love food, I love to eat, I love to try new things. The other problem, I hate to exercise. I loathe exercise. It’s enough to cause my inner 7 year old to throw a full blown hiney cringe inducing hysterical girlie tantrum. Maybe it’s again, my inner 7 year old rebelling against my Elementary School Physical Education teachers, who forced encouraged us to run countless laps around orange cones on Fridays. 

 

So, my first step to skinny bitchness is, I am cutting out Diet Cokes. Usually, to a skinny bitch, Diet Coke wouldn’t be a big deal but, to a big bitch like me, it is. I drink 8 – 10 Diet Cokes a day. This is Day 3 of Operation Skinny Bitch and so far so good. I certainly feel better and have more energy. I will explain the whole 8 Diet Cokes = Weight gain phenomena soon enough.

 

The reason I am putting my journey out in the public is because, I need to be held accountable. I need help. Help me please? I need you Bloggers to theoretically knock the Ben & Jerry’s out of my hand and hand me a carrot stick. When you see me with a whole piece of chocolate cake, tell me to get the fork out of my fat mouth.

 

Can you help this Fatty McFatterson become a Skinny Bitch?

~ by Kendall on October 14, 2008.